A Dental Dilemma

I am not one of those people who refuses to go see a doctor until they are at death's door (ahem, Robert), so when I pay for health insurance I intend to use it. So I begged and pleaded at work and was finally able to take a few hours to go see a dentist. Hooray! (Anyone working in public accounting can definitely understand the magnitude of this achievement.)

Time to find a dentist! Good news! My insurance covers approximately 30820394820394 doctors located within a 5 block radius of my apartment. Winning! 20 phone calls later, still no appointment. I wasn't surprised. In the spring, I had strep throat TWICE consecutively, and still no doctor found this medical anomaly interesting enough to give me an appointment less than a month in advance. Finally, I manage to get an appointment. Success!

I waited in anticipation for weeks and the day finally came! I practically skipped to the swanky Madison Ave. office impatient to remove the coffee and tea stains left on my teeth by over a year of office captivity. The white gloved doorman directed me to the office, and along i went. When I opened the door, I almost left thinking I walked into the wrong place by mistake. It was as if I had walked into an antique store or a country bed and breakfast. Or the Little Mermaid's underwater cave of random crap.

I proceeded to sit in the dentist's chair in utter bewilderment, gazing up at about 10 Eiffel Towers dangling from the ceiling, some kind of Africa tribal mask, and other floor-to-ceiling...paraphanelia. Meanwhile, he spent a good 15 minutes adamantly lecturing me on why I should be a vegan. But really, telling a Texan to be vegan is like...telling a bear to be vegan.

The conversation then shifted to cats. Of which this gentleman had at least 8, to my understanding. Each cat was cleverly named after a different vegetable. Broccoli, onion, cauliflower, zuchinni...I almost wanted to ask if the cats were vegan also, but you don't antagonize a person when they have sharp instruments near your face. Then, when I mentioned that, I, too, have cats and like art/travel/knick knacks, Dr. McDreamy got super excited and informed me that he is indeed single! So, just a heads up, if you're into weirdos who have massive rent-controlled apartments on the Upper East Side, I can definitely give you a referral. He also enjoys painting and long walks on the beach.

Anyway. Long story short, whatever he did appears to have worked and my teeth are as shiny as ever. Do I go back and just assume this "eclectic" style of medical care a New York thing? Or... maybe next year I'll splurge on a "Dental Spa" where you get a foot rub while listening to soothing music and looking over Central Park. Living the dream!